I Want
by graystripemkc
Summary: It's Smut. It's in Jared's POV. This is the first actual smut like thing I've put on here for the rest of the world to see. My editor doesn't handle this kind stuff well, so you may see more grammar errors in this one than in my other ones. I apologize now. Yeah I guess just R&R, y'all know what to do. If y'all want it expanded just tell me. But I was thinking this as a one shot..


_**Ok guys so inspiration has gotten the better of me. I NEED smut. I'm not ashamed to say this either. Lol **_

_**This is RATED M. At least I'm going to rate this as a M. I'm going to break y'all in slowly to what I want to do. I love lemons. I love smut. I like detailed smut...**_

_**I want to write smut. But I'm afraid to cause I don't know how y'all would react. I'm just experimenting here, let me know what y'all think? **_

_**Im sorry for the bad grammar, I honestly just wrote this, and my editor doesn't handle this type of stuff well, so she wouldn't edit it. **_

_**Hope to have the next chapter to TLM up soon!**_

_**Madaleine**_

* * *

Jared tossed and turned he kept on thinking about Mina...

What was it about this woman that made him forget who he was and who he had been for the past few centuries? How had she unwittingly woven her way into his very being like this? There was something about being on a quest for a similar cause that brought two people together, but this feeling was too strong for his liking.

He thought about what happened earlier. He kissed her. She had kissed him back. He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling it felt like she had felt it too...he thought miserably.

He sighed and rubbed the sides of his face. Keep it together Jared.

And yet...he made what sounded like a mix of a sigh and growl. He grabbed the near by pillow and smashed it into his face.

Mina...his body ached, a dull ache coursed through out his body that never went away. It almost became unbearable, his only pain reliever seemed to be Mina's touch.

Her touch, her hand on his arm, his hand, it made the pain go away in that particular area...but it left the rest of his body in more pain, longing for her touch. She was his relief and his torture. Thunder cracked through the sky it began to pour. The storm outside tore the sky apart. The weather outside mirrored his emotions.

He furiously tried to shove his feelings and thoughts about Mina somewhere deep with in him.

He was failing.

He had two chances to tell her how he felt. And he didn't tell her. He was angry at himself...

"Make it look natural," he told her. Staring at her, looking at the two big Fae guards standing at the door. Mina giggled and hung on him, pretending to be a ditz or really drunk.

"It's not working!" She whispered urgently in his ear, they had gotten up and began walking towards them. Jared looked past her, they were coming. Mina's mind was racing on what they should do. She looked up at him, her eyes wide. Her eyes were filled with something. Without warning he grabbed her chin, when the guards were feet away from them, and pulled her mouth to his. The guards stopped seeing them embrace. One of them smirked, and smacked the back of his hand on the the other guys arm.

He didn't know what made him do it. He couldn't tell you why he did it. But he did. And he was glad he had. For a moment, Mina seemed taken aback or surprised. Then she began to kiss him back. Their kiss becoming passionate within minutes. Jared could taste Mina on his tongue.

Jared pushed Mina violently away from him, she gasped loudly. She stared at him, surprised. Curiosity thinly veiled in her eyes. He could feel her heart racing.

Mina was choked up, Jared held his breath, visibly shaking from the intensity of that kiss.

Jared tore his gaze off of Mina and whipped around to face the two guards. Punching one of them in the face.

A quiet knock sounded on his door, distracting him from his inner monologue. He sat up, he slowly got out of bed. "Give me a minute." He yelled putting on a pair of pants, leaving the top button undone. He walked out of his room and to the front door and peered through the peep hole, curiosity playing in his eyes.

"Mina?"

The door creaked openly slowly, and he saw her clearly for the first time that night, since they fought earlier. She had done her best to wipe away the tears, but her eyes were still pink and puffy, her face pale and drawn with stress. She looked at him with a small shrug of her shoulders, silently responding to his confusion, as if she weren't doing anything out of the ordinary by waltzing over to his place in the middle of the night.

Jared instantly put up his walls, trying to push down his feelings, and resisting the urge to take her in his arms and kiss her madly.

Jared wanted to say something snarky, mean and vindictive. But honestly, he was too exhausted to be snarky with her.

He sighed staring at Mina expressionless, "what do you want Mina?"

He let the question hang in the air for a minute when he noticed her shivering. He took a step back, and realized that Mina was soaking wet. "Mina did you walk all the way here in the rain?"

Mentally reprimanding himself for not noticing sooner, he quickly grabbed the large blanket from the couch from behind them and draped it around her shoulders. "you'll catch your death, before the story can give one too you." He turned around so he could fully face her, to make sure that there was nothing else that he had missed.

"I'm fine," she assured him her voice shaking, but smiled her thanks, letting it fill the pause. "Jared-" she broke off breathlessly sounding a bit strangled. She was shaking her head as she stepped towards him.

"You. I want you." She whispered to him. Jared stared at her in disbelief. She stepped inside, noiselessly shutting the door behind her. She seemed unfazed by his partial state of undress, something that surprised Jared, almost to the point of wanting to cover himself, but instead he moved closer.

"I don't want to be alone anymore, I'm tired of trying to deny how I truly feel," her eyes looking faraway and gloomy. Turning her head away and wiping her eye when a lone tear slipped down her cheek.

"Mina what are you saying?" He asked strangled.

Her heart was racing, she was terrified. All she could do was think about him. She looked back into his worried face, with a gaze that was both filled with sadness, admiration, and intrigue. Her steady stare fell from his eyes and moved gradually down to his lips, his neck, his chest to his jeans, the button casually sitting there undone.

A tingle went down his spine at the feelings her wordless, deliberate survey was giving him and after what felt like forever, she reached up to trace patterns on his skin with her fingertips. He unintentionally pulled back ever so slightly, taken aback at what was happening.

"Mina…" he began, but he was unsure of what he had wanted to say or how to say it, so he didn't continue. Mina's eyes were heavy with remorse. "what happened?"

Mina sniffled again softly, her cheeks still red with emotion as she swallowed hard, "he got away the Reaper... I'm so sorry." She pleaded burying her face into his shoulder. "I was going to die-" she sounded strangled. "I-I was hanging from the roof- and all I could think about was you."

That floored Jared, he stared at her speechless. Mina without warning, tipped her head upwards, pulled his chin down kissing him softly.

Jared growled in his throat, as she cocked her head to the side, opening her mouth more to allow his tongue access to her mouth. Their kiss becoming passionate with in minutes. He gasped when she broke away abruptly. "I'm so sorry...I'm sorry..." She whispered.

He stilled, as if moving would cause the dream to end. Her lips moved over his like a whisper, barely touching, but leaving a burning sensation with each brush of her skin against his. Her hands rested at either side of his waist, shaking. She never once stopping her feather-light kisses.

He broke away from her in a rough manner. Grabbing her chin, she looked up at him. Desire, pain and love in her eyes. He stared down at her, he held his breath unsure of what to do.

He pressed her up against the wall, pinning her to it. His mouth crashing down on hers. He bit her lip, causing her to groaned in pleasure. She grabbed handfuls of his shirt, becoming more aroused. She slipped her hands underneath his shirt, she could feel him growing hard against her inner thigh.

Jared grounded into her, his tongue trying to tell her everything he wanted to say. Mina moaned his name softly. Mina lied there pressed up against the wall on edge. "Jared," she moaned in between his relentless kissing. Mina kissed him back, not hesitating this time. She gave into him, not trying to deny anything anymore. She wanted Jared, so much it hurt.

Jared broke away, beginning to kiss her neck. He kissed her pulsing point, feeling her heartbeat through her skin. He left a hot trail down Mina's neck, he pushed her up farther against the wall, their bodies molding perfectly together. Jared's body was screaming at him to take advantage of this moment.

Jared nipped and sucked the skin along Mina's neck. Mina made strangled cries in response to his ministrations, filling Jared with a rush of adrenaline. Jared's body began to shake, from holding Mina the way he was. His knees felt like they would buckle soon. He groaned Mina's name. He buried his head into the crook of Mina's neck. Mina gently moved away, Jared felt exhausted. With great effort and reluctance he picked his head up, wordlessly searching her face for any signs of emotion or clues to what she was thinking.

Mina blinked at him, her eyes were gentle yet alert. Her eyes were filled with lust, and something else. She reached up, gently brushing a strand of sweaty hair away from his eyes, Jared closed his eyes. Enjoying her touch on his skin. He held his breath as she swiped away, the slight glean of sweat from his forehead, kissing him gently. Her lips barely touching his forehead.

The simple act nearly broke him, his legs grew weak. He nearly fell, but he quickly recovered pinning her against the wall. Mina gasped, she unwrapped her legs from around him. Jared released his hold on her, allowing her to stand.

She grabbed his hand smiling at him. She gently pulled Jared away from the wall.

"Mina… what are you doing?" He opened his grey eyes to search hers, needing that one, last, ditch effort to snap her out of whatever spell or trance she was in, to give her the chance to stop.

"I'm tired of feeling alone," she whispered, her voice wrought with emotion. "I want to feel something else. I want to feel you."

Her begging words were all he needed to disregard his earlier misgivings and he snaked his arm around her waist, leading her to his bedroom. A spark of electricity pulsed through his body.

He pulled her into his bedroom, suppressing the squeal that erupted from her throat, from the motion. He closed the door behind him. Mentally putting up a barrier that wouldn't allow anyone to see what they were doing if any certain family members decided to be nosy.

He slowly pushed her back onto the bed, crawling over her as he did so, never once stopping kissing her. She nipped at his bottom lip, running her tongue over it and coaxing it open. Jared opened his mouth, her tongue explored his mouth tasting him. He moaned, his head swimming from the unexpected sensations. He felt his pants become tighter with every touch, knowing that his near instant arousal must be obvious to her, and it felt wrong- he was suppose to be her protector, and the thoughts that were running through his head were ones that he should have- but God it felt so good.

His arousal pressed hard into her leg and she instinctively lifted her hips to rub him, making him groan at the friction.

Unable to resist her any longer and actually care about the consequences of his actions, he kissed her, his mouth moving against hers in a slow, sensual dance, his hand twisting in her brown hair, tangled from the curls in her hair getting wet in the rain, making them kinky and tight.

It reminded him of how she had looked one day when he had playfully commented on it, trying to get her mind off of her troubles. She had rolled her eyes in response, saying they had more important things to worry about than her hair, but he knew that his innocent comment had made her self-conscious.

It amused him that she cared about how he saw her, especially when he hadn't meant any offense. In fact, he had thought the sun and the warm winds that day had made it look unkempt in quite the attractive way.

Straying from his thoughts and renewing his focus on the kiss, Jared nipped at her bottom lip, as he slipped his hand underneath her shirt. She pushed against him and began to sit up, kissing him slowly, deeply. She didn't break the kiss until she was forced to by him ushering the shirt carefully up and over her head.

As soon as the piece of attire was gone, he lowered himself on top of her, gently pinning her against his pillows so she was half sitting up and half lying down. She let out a small gasp at the pleasantness of his weight against her body, wrapping her arms around his back, one hand entangling into his hair and a thrill ran through Jared at their closeness as he descended on her again.

They continued to kiss for some time, fluctuating between deep and passionate and gentle caresses of the others' lips, thoroughly, painstakingly exploring the other, and he was so engrossed in what they were doing, he almost forgot to breathe. Finally breaking away, knowing that they didn't have the time that he wished to truly take her, he moved forward. Jared trailed his way down her jaw as one of his hands snuck up her chest, cupping her breast. He nuzzled her neck, brushing her hair out of the way and breathing in her scent, marveling at how soft her skin was against his cheek. Mina let out a pleased sigh and arched her back slightly when she felt his hand slip beneath her bra and brush her nipple his thumb. She pressed her neck harder against his hot mouth, gasping again when he took the opportunity to work his way up further and nibble her earlobe, sucking on it lightly.

She made a tiny, whimpering sound in her throat, and she bit her lip hard. She pressed her hips into his firmly, indicating that she wanted him to continue, and wrapped a hand around his neck tracing kisses from his ear to his collarbone. Sensing her insistence, he tugged at her bra, pulling away from her touch reluctantly to look at it in mild confusion. His hands shook as he tried to unhook the damn thing.

"I've got it," she smiled slightly noticing that he was nervous, reaching behind her to un-do the clasps and letting it fall away from her body, not even giving him a moment to look before pulling him back down on her.

"Mina," He groaned at the feeling of her hardened nipples against his chest and the way she was writhing beneath him, unbuttoning her jeans. For a second time, he was tempted to simply tear them away from her body, but instead he helped her strip them off, then moving his hand to his own, her hands joined his own, staring at one another as they pulled down his own.

When they were completely bare to each other, Jared finally took a moment to look at her, losing his breath at how stunning she was. His eyes hungrily searched her body until he reached her eyes. Her face was no longer puffy from crying, but the empty, mournful look in her eyes caught him off guard.

Noticing his hesitancy, Mina reached up, brushing his cheek with her fingers, imploring him not to leave her alone as he had before. Without waiting for him to answer, she kissed him softly, pressing her lips into his, one hand still on his cheek and the other drifting down to his cock.

His body twitched under her touch and god, he wanted her so badly. But even moreso, he wanted to stop the hurt, his hurt and hers. He wanted to give her what she needed and selfishly, he wanted her to give the same to him, as if their two broken souls could come together as one and forget the pain that they had tried to get rid of for so long now.

She guided him to her entrance, and he pushed his hips forward just barely, overcompensating to avoid thrusting into her roughly like his body was begging him to do. He inhaled sharply when the tip slipped inside of her and he let himself sink in a couple of inches before pulling back, slowly working his way into her. Her half seated, half lying position made her feel intoxicatingly taut beneath him and he didn't want to hurt her. He felt her hips rise, urging him on yet again, and with that final permission, he began to move.

And then he was lost.

Jared groaned at how wet she was, how easily he slid back and forth inside of her, how she whimpered with pleasure the deeper he got, and bloody hell, in that moment he had mad thoughts of loving her. he knew that was mad, but he couldn't help but feel the overwhelming sense of euphoria that came with every sigh and moan from the woman beneath him. He felt her body relax into him completely with each thrust, as her hips pumped up and down in a stable rhythm in time with his own.

Suddenly, he pulled her body further down the bed so she was lying fully on her back. On the next thrust, he almost withdrew from her completely before entering her again, taking her deeply and fully with every slow drive. He watched her eyes roll back and her head loll to the side as a cry escaped her lips. His movements were a delicious torture for them both, filling her so completely and then retreating only to return again, his ministrations just slow enough to build them up, but not enough to let them fall until they were ready. They met each other's every movement with the fluidness of practiced lovers who had done this dance for years – and in a way, they had, though not physically. They had somehow always been a team when it mattered the most. They had always known how to move together- though they rarely did- whether it be in the form of a sword fight or playful banter.

Mina's chest began to heave as her eventual orgasm started to form deep in her abdomen. Her hands clutched the blankets at her sides and her legs wrapped around his waist allowing him even deeper. "Don't stop," she sighed, writhing with want for him. Her hands trailed up his body to grip his shoulders, pressing them impossibly nearer together.

This woman was going to be his undoing.

"I never want to stop, Mina," he moaned the intimate words without meaning to, scaring himself with the feelings this closeness was invoking deep within him.

But he didn't want to stop.

He wanted to stay inside of her forever, to make her feel this good as long as possible, even if he never found his own release.

And she was so close. He could feel it.

Jared rest his forehead into the crook of her neck, altering his rhythm once again. He stayed deep inside of her, thrusting shallowly now, not allowing himself to leave her warmth. This new movement caused his pelvis to rub against the sensitive bud of nerves between her legs with every jump of his hips.

"Oh, god… yes, please," the string of words tumbled out of her mouth as he continued to stroke against her most sensitive area, his hand alternating between tweaking her nipple and fondling the breast it belonged to, his lips ravishing her throat with kisses with a new eagerness. Her breathing got heavier as the seconds passed, but he refused the temptation to rut into her harder. He wanted her like this, slow and gentle like the rocking of the ship against the waves, their bodies arching together, with barely any space being allowed between them.

"Look at me," he murmured, brushing her chin with his lips as he continued. His voice shook ever so slightly and sweat started to bead on his forehead. Her eyes fluttered open, her expression so full of trust and need and then in an instant, she tightened around him, her face contorted into a look of pure bliss, her orgasm washing over her unexpectedly. Her eyes closed and her entire body tensed as she let the feeling take her over.

"Jared!"

He allowed himself to pull out of her a bit more now, to pump a little faster as he felt her body tauten and release, but he still took her gently.

"Jared, Jared , Jared," spilled from her over and over, getting quieter and quieter as the pleasure of her release gradually dissipated. Still, she clung to him with a vice grip, as if he too would be taken from her in this moment, as if he would leave her. Her father, Charlie, Brody, Jared the few times her had to leave, like when he left her at that national park. Some not of their own choosing – had left her at some point and in this vulnerable instant, she clung to him like he was all she had left in the world that had thought enough of her to come back.

Jared groaned sharply, a string of curses flooding out with it, trembling and thrusting in an erratic rhythm as his own release approached.

"Jared."

She continued to breathe his name and he'd had many a woman cry it out in the throes of passion, but rarely with this amount of desperation, and not even his time with Ever had it made him feel like this when they did.

"Mina," with her name on his lips and a final thrust, Jared shattered. He moaned into her shoulder repeatedly as the waves passed over him. He was still moving lightly inside of her, his voice taking on a needy, lilting tone, so different from the deep, controlled groans from before.

When the pulses of pleasure finally subsided, he lifted his head and captured her lips passionately, finding it difficult to contain the feelings still overtaking him even as his exhaustion spread. Mina responded in kind, fingers still pressed into his shoulders, not clawing as he had expected, but simply clinging to him until they were breathless.

Jared seemed to break the final kiss as one, as if he had been struck by an uneasy sense as reality cruelly crept back into his psyche. They were both breathing hard, staring into each other's eyes, bodies still entangled, when suddenly, something awoke and Mina slowly began to fade away from him.

"Mina!" he panicked no! - he thought desperately. He woke up in a cold sweat, he looked around his apartment. Wide eyed, he sat there for a moment in defeat. It had been a dream. A bloody awful wonderful dream.

His breathing was still strained, his chest heaving and his cheeks pink from the dream. After a while he sat there angry, inwardly fuming. When was it going to be enough?A dark mood had befallen him like a child intent on a tantrum, and so he sat, giving himself a few moments to bask in it before forcing it away.

He hated that she got under his skin this way, that he let her get to him like this. He hated wanting her, needing her, like he had no other in so long and the guilt that went along with that need, and he hated the emotions that she stirred within him like a pot ready to boil over at any moment. He collapsed miserably back onto the bed, closing his eyes.

"BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" His alarm clock rang before he smacked it half away across the room...


End file.
